Let us situate ourselves at the crossroads about which we spoke at the end of the previous chapter. In life we can initiate processes of vertigo and fascination or processes of ecstasy and creativity. How are these initiated, where do they lead, and what are their consequences? Looked at more closely this will provide the light for discovering and understanding in depth a thousand circumstances in our life. This would make possible a great power of discernment, which is a sign of maturity.

FASCINATION OR THE PROCESS OF VERTIGO

Let us start with the process of vertigo. If I adopt an attitude of selfishness in life, I consider all around me as a means towards my goals or ends, the objects of my interest. I am the center of the universe and reduce everything to the role of satellites around me. Realities which I consider more worthy than others are privileged objects, but objects all the same. When I encounter a reality with some outstanding quality, I feel drawn towards it and want to control it and use it: my ideal is to control in order to enjoy. When I control something which stimulates my instincts, I feel euphoric, exalted. I think I am going to achieve rapid emotional fulfillment. But this is a false illusion, for I am soon overtaken by deep disappointment because the attractive reality I hold cannot intermingle with me since I have reduced it to an object. Because I cannot encounter it I do not develop as a person; and on realizing this I become disappointed and saddened.

This sadness is continually repeated because I persist in my selfish attitude; hence it becomes enveloping and distressing. Distress is the sense that everything I need to fully develop as a person is hollow. On leaning into this void, I suffer a kind of spiritual vertigo. Because I have lost the capacity of turning back towards life by a radical change of attitude, this vertigo gives way to desperation. Desperation is the bitter state of mind produced by seeing that all exits towards realizing one’s own self are closed. This bitterness leads one to destruction, physical or moral, one’s own or that of others.

None of this refers to those suffering from psychic depression, but to those in perfect physical health who give themselves up to the fascination of possessing what inflames their instincts.

The other process – that of ecstasy – is a quite different attitude. If I am not selfish, but generous, I do not reduce those around me to serving as means towards my ends; I respect them for what they are and for their calling. This respect is not limited to taking each reality in its full value, but joins with them in developing their interior possibilities. The generous person respects different realities and collaborates with them. When one enters into a relation with a reality which offers eminent qualities and is attracting, one does not try to control it for one’s own use. One approaches it to deal with it but keeps a respectful distance. It is precisely in being close, yet at a certain distance that a field of play (an exchange of possibilities) is established between both realities. This fruitful exchange is the encounter.

If, for example, I am particularly attracted to a person because of some quality he or she possesses, I let myself be dazzled by the gratifications such quality promises. I want to control the person and take as much advantage as possible. In this I lower them to a mere support for this quality. I do not take them as the center of initiative, I do not qualify them as a partner, but quite simply attempt to control them and subject them to my radius of action. On the other hand, if I let myself be drawn by this quality and take it as a vital expression of the person possessing it, I begin to act friendly toward them: I encounter them. By such an encounter I enrich my personality and tend towards full development. When I am aware of this I feel enjoyment and exaltation.

Joy and happiness have various degrees. We reach the higher degrees when we feel enthusiasm on encountering realities which offer us great possibilities of realization. If I play on the organ a Bach chorale, which is a prodigy of peace and depth, I become enthusiastic because I realize that I am shaping a perfect work and participating in its immense wealth. I shape the chorale, and the chorale shapes me. It is a double sided or reversible experience. In contrast, if I control a reality I have a linear experience: I act, reality is subjected to my performance – it does not perform on me. Such lineal experiences, which are typical of vertigo, may be intense, but they are very poor and create nothing of worth. Reversible experiences, however, enrich one’s life to the full because they stimulate a fruitful dialogue which offers great possibilities for acting with meaning.

This explains why enthusiasm is translated into a feeling of deep inner happiness which inspires and stimulates one to act, carrying out the process of building one’s own personality. This achievement affects not only one’s own personality, but that of everyone one encounters and all the ambits which enter into play. The process of ecstasy or encounter leads to true personal life and, at the same time, to true development of life in the home. This is the key to explaining a number of decisive phenomena in society.

This is seen clearly in the experiences of vertigo and ecstasy.

There are various types of vertigo: that of ambition for power, leadership and glory or that of drunkenness and drugs, eroticism and speed. They differ, but coincide in that at the beginning they make no demands upon one; they invite one to let oneself be carried along by one’s instinctive hungers, promising everything, but in the end taking all away.

Similarly, there exist several types of ecstasy: that of sports, aesthetics, ethics, or religion. All have in common that they are at first demanding, they promise everything and in the end do give everything. The process of ecstasy demands generosity. All creative acts carry some measure of unselfishness. Only the selfless person declines to take the attractive reality as a consumer object and accepts it as a partner, whereas the selfish man plays to win at all costs. He takes all as a game, a means to increase his economic assets and his prestige. He thereby lowers the ecstasy of sport to the pure vertigo of pure competition. The non-sportive competitor lowers his chums to the level of opponents to be conquered at all cost. From such manipulative degradation comes violence. Sport unites and molds when it is ecstasy; it separates and deforms when it is vertigo.

Persons who give in to such fascination or vertigo believe they are asserting themselves and gaining personal independence, but soon they find themselves enveloped in a whirlwind which tosses them about. In L. Dreyer’s splendid film, Dies Irae, a young girl and boy, joined in an impossible love, go to a lake and jump into a small boat. "Where are we going?" asks the young boy. With resignation the girl answers: "Where the current takes us." As there are no currents in the lake that could drag a strong person, the image refers to the powerful currents of vertigo of a passionate love that one cannot control.

At first, this destructive fascination promises boundless freedom without norms or orientation, but it ends up in one’s subjection to the worst of slaveries. "Where are we going? Where the current takes us."

Ecstasy links one to what is precious and makes one truly free. It fills one with expectations and enthusiasm, and guides one towards fulfillment. It gives no empty exhilaration, but serene exultation; it does not intoxicate, but generates enthusiasm; it does not take one out of oneself, but elevates one to what is the best within oneself; it does not produce a gloomy freedom which separates one from others, but joins one in a genuine community of life.

The violent disequilibrium of vertigo, on the other hand, is destined to destroy one and others. Hence, it destroys life in common, reducing communities to a mere jumble of unconnected individuals, mere masses. Where the community is impregnable, the mass is easily controlled. Thus, the first step of the tyrant who wishes to conquer a people without bothering to convince them is to reduce communities to masses in order to control them. This is carried out by decreasing as much as possible the creative capacity of the people constituting these communities. This is done in a manner as simple as evil, namely, by setting people on the spiral path of vertigo leading down to nausea and despair.

We must be very careful with the freedom we have in a democracy. If it is taken as freedom to give in to different forms of dissolution, then it is a cunning trap because, under the pretext of freedom from the bonds of rules, taboos and repressive customs, it takes away the only real human freedom, namely, that of creating spheres of relationships which are the birthplaces of our development as persons.

Those who would manipulate us always swim with the current; they pander to our instincts, for example, to our search for freedom. They promise liberty, which in reality often is the tomb of real freedom.

Analyzing the dual experiences of dissolution that is vertigo and of ecstasy sheds light on many details of our life with others. It enables us to understand, for example, the deep reason which leads people and groups to confuse the two, despite the fact they are poles apart. Experiences of ecstasy have been long enjoyed great prestige since all culture stem therefrom; it is their strength which maintains a culture and gives it drive. By linking ecstacy to the destructive fascination of vertigo, however, an attempt is made to adorn such dissolution with a dignity and relevance it is far from having. Inducing people to identify the frenetic elation of vertigo with the serene elation of ecstacy is a gigantic fraud. It leaves particularly the young deeply confused and incapable of choosing what is suitable to their healthy personal development.

In fact, by confusing vertigo and ecstasy, values are inverted, the scale of values is upturned, and lowest comes to be considered the highest. Undoubtedly pleasure is a value; but friendship and the procreation of a new personal life are much higher values. But which is given priority in today’s society? Bergson spoke, in his time, of an "aphrodisiacal" society. It would be even more true to say that our society is hedonistic, taking as an ideal in life the accumulation of easy satisfactions, placing pleasure at the top of the scale of values. This inversion constitutes a most dangerous revolution because it distorts reality, which avenges such alteration. Its revenge is to hinder one on one’s way to fulfillment, because it is thwarted through one’s own lack of moderation. As the process of ecstasy which perfects man begins with generosity and respect, any perversion of its reality constitutes an assault that renders the ecstatic movement impossible from the beginning.

One who throws oneself into the destructive fascination that is vertigo in search of immediate pleasure and assumes absolute freedom to alter the ranking of the various values loses both liberty and happiness. In contrast, one who heads towards ecstasy adapts his freedom to reality in order to reach fulfillment, thereby attaining true liberty and happiness. Happiness and liberty do not give themselves to anyone who tries to take possession of them directly. Instead, they give themselves as an extra to whoever devotes his life to carrying out his vocation and mission. Gustavo Thibon puts it thus: a person of low quality searches for happiness, whereas a noble person searches for no more than being human.

Self destructive vertigo and ecstasy are openly opposed. They respond to contradictory attitudes: vertigo to egoism, ecstasy to generosity; and they lead to totally different goals. By destroying the encounter vertigo annuls one’s creative power, diminishes sensitivity to the highest values, and prevents the creation of high forms of interaction with the realities of one’s surroundings. This gnaws at the very root of true culture, since culture is all that humans do to establish a high level of integration with the surrounding reality. Ecstasy, on the other hand, by stimulating the encounter, increases one’s creative power for self development, sharpens one’s sensitivity to values, and generates a high level of unity.

As fascination with self gratification, vertigo fixes the eye upon immediate gain, leading one to choose at every moment whatever satiates one’s instincts. It leaves no freedom with regard to the highest values. Ecstasy frees one from attachment to each interesting moment and enables one to select anything which will take one towards the ideal of his life.

In view of the conflict between the dissolution of vertigo, on the one hand, and ecstacy, on the other, the confusion between both experiences can only be the result of ignorance or malice. Ignorance disqualifies those who would assume the role of spiritual guide. Manipulation is always bad, even when it attempts to bring one to the good; but it is much worse when it tries to degrade in order to control the young and inexperienced.

In many sex information programs there is a great confusion between vertigo and ecstasy. Love is spoken about generally, without specifying its type, whether mere eroticism or personal love. As a result the word "love" throbs with all the positive echoes of human relationships, but in fact deceptively points to eroticism. Often love is not mentioned, but affection and communication in order not to give sexuality full scope. Thus everything is surrounded with strategic ambiguity. Affection and communication refer to high levels of human life and any young person would read into these words certain noble values. But one would not realize that in this context they have the meaning of merely a self-satisfying relationship, not one that creates stable and fruitful ties. There is no reference to the realization of a relationship that is valuable and fruitful in itself, giving life to others and to new beings. The sexual activity it encourages is limited always to producing pleasurable, immediate and fleeting sensations; it is mere eroticism.

The writers do not show this or mark its distinction from personal love, but talk simply of sex relations, of communication and affection, of feeling good together. Such words gather together all the values which have always turned the word love into a haven full of mystery and lure, but use this as an open invitation to throw oneself into practicing sexual activity which does live up to the full scope of the word "love". This exchange entraps thousands of unwary persons who give themselves up to a self destructive spiral of vertigo trusting that it is ecstasy. Sliding down the slope of fascination they soon realize, with disappointment, the magnitude of their error, but may no longer have the strength to rectify the direction in which they are heading.

The confusion between the dissolution of vertigo and ecstasy has strategic motives (which would not be accepted if stated) to control people in every aspect: economically, politically, ideologically, ethically without being noticed. Rudolf Affemann rightly condemned this:

At this crossroads we can take either the road down to vertigo or up to ecstasy, but present day publicity tries to hide the latter and confuse it with the former. Is there any antidote to this seductive misrepresentation? Nowadays it is almost impossible for young people to protect themselves from the manipulators who infiltrate homes and minds. This powerfully overwhelming influx of manipulation disheartens many parents and teachers. It must be emphasized that it is possible to mobilize an efficient antidote to this seduction. The antidote consists in three measures:

1. Being alert: knowing first hand the strategic resources of manipulation.

2. Thinking clearly: becoming accustomed to using language in a precise manner; distinguishing between what is different and relating things that are complementary; and asking questions. Thinking with precision is a difficult art that must be learned as a child. Nowadays it is scarcely developed and no time should be lost in doing so if we wish to move with certain freedom in this turbulent age.

3. Exercising all of one’s creative capacities: The person who lives creatively discovers from his or her own experience the ranking of each value and develops a special sensitivity for the highest values. To live in a self creative manner is to establish bonds with others, each of which illumines the meaning of the realities on which it is based. If one experiences deeply a work by Mozart or Michelangelo, one is tremendously free before anyone who would diminish their value. If one is loyal one will have pity on whoever tries to persuade that being loyal is simply a matter of having stamina. One knows for oneself that being loyal is light years ahead because it means being ready at all times constantly to create what one once promised.

The person who adopts these three measures is ready to face seduction by the manipulators. But this is not easy; it requires a slow and systematic apprenticeship. New times require new methods and an age that enslaves young minds with a flood of information, often with an underlying purpose, requires proven forms of education.

These pages offer some keys to the bases of such education. One of these is the distinction between a destructive vertigo and ecstasy, from which derive many of the things to be explained in the following chapters.

The terms "vertigo" and "ecstasy" have different meanings and greater flexibility than "good" and "bad", "vice" and "virtue". Not all processes in the descending spiral of vertigo imply a moral wrong at each phase. Playing bingo one day is a morally neutral action, but becoming addicted to this type of game means letting oneself be carried by a fascination for easy earnings, without commitment to constructive activity. Simply waiting for exciting sensations diminishes willpower along with capacity for initiative. One borne along by fascination for gambling has not yet fallen into moral wrong and has done nothing that constitutes an ethical anti-value, but they constantly runs the risk of so doing. The force of any fascination which compels can lead to the neglect of unavoidable duties, to risking money beyond one’s means and to compromising one’s family life.

The dissolution of vertigo is not identified with ethical wrong, but neither is it detached therefrom; usually it leads to it in one form or another. Each instance of the downward spiral of vertigo provokes others, and restrains or renders impossible the personal development of whomever yields to it. Once it prevents one from developing one’s personality it becomes a moral wrong.

Discovery of the fact that the modes of dissolution found in vertigo overlap each other is necessary in order to guard against serious risks which are aggravated by public leaders who proclaim a hatred for drugs while fostering such other types of dissolution as games of chance, eroticism, ambition for power, immoderate desire for wealth, etc. Some years ago, those in charge of public health condoned taking "soft drugs" as "progressive". Reality lost no time in taking its revenge, revealing that the cultivation of this selfish attitude in search of immediate satisfaction is insatiable, as it knows no limits and leads to breaking all boundaries. The step from "soft" to "hard" followed inexorably.

But it is not just a step from one type of drug to another. Any encouragement of selfishness, of the easy way of always and only seeking pleasure, is the starting point for taking drugs. This is noted by psychiatrist, Rudolf Affemann:

We have seen the importance of knowing the laws of human life and how to foresee what happens when certain processes are put in motion. Frequently, human beings who indulge in all kinds of satisfactions fall into certain processes of dissolution or vertigos without seeing in them anything ethically wrong. They are right that these are not, in principle, morally wrong, anti-values, or in religious terms "sins". But they judge poorly in taking for granted that falling into such a downward spiral of vertigo has nothing to do with moral wrong. Though vertigo is not equivalent to evil (nor ecstasy to goodness), it stimulates breakdowns in behavior, which often have a negative ethical meaning. To have an ambition to learn and control situations is consonant with being human and ethically good. To try to learn everything about someone in order to put all on file and be able to control them is ethically wrong. It means lowering them to the condition of object which is unjust (unless their behavior becomes an issue of public safety). In contrast, to analyze physiologically and psychologically in order to help cure one with no ambition to rule them is the path of ecstasy and thus positive.

The study of ecstasy and the destructive process of vertigo enables one to see quite clearly how an action can be ethically wrong in some cases and good in others. A biological act can have a negative value one day and a positive value the next when there is a marriage ceremony in between. This is because marriage is far from being a mere ceremony; it establishes a relationship between those making a public commitment to create a stable and fertile union. Within such ambit or sphere of union sexual relations contribute to constituting a field for interaction which surpasses the scission between what is mine and what is yours, between my interests and your interests. By establishing personal intimacy, "intimate" relations have a positive value which is lacking when they serve only such selfish ends as satisfying erotic hunger and enjoying passing satisfaction.

"Vertigo" and "ecstasy" do not boil down to "vice" and "virtue", respectively, but they are closely linked. Vices are habits which hamper creative experiences and, consequently, the proper development of the human personality. We say a door has a "vice" when something prevents it from opening or closing smoothly. Analysis of the self-destructive process of vertigo shows that in it one can act quickly and even euphorically without the blundering of a "vice" in the ordinary sense. However, one is not thereby headed towards perfecting one’s personality, but in the contrary direction. Vice favors the drift towards personality destruction; it hinders personal fulfillment. The dizzying ease with which one acts when corrupted by some fascination often is given a positive value. The analysis of the nauseous process of vertigo puts us on the alert against confusing the easy slide towards destruction with the laborious effort to uplift oneself.

In the light of this analysis, it can be seen that virtue is not a prudish, bland or weak attitude. On the contrary, virtue is shown as a "virtus", that is, as a strength which gives man wings to fulfill the demands of creative activity. The virtuous man is the one who has acquired the habit of replying positively to the call of real values and of establishing active interchange with them. It is this active aspect of virtue – laborious while joyous and enthusiastic – that emerges in an analysis of the ecstatic process. In contrast, the two sides of vice – elation and depression, ambition for immediate gains and a total loss of hope – are obvious in any close analysis of the processes of dissolution that is vertigo.

Acquiring a vice does not mean, principally and automatically, committing a deed which is ethically reproachable. It implies merely that the path of destructive fascination rather than that of development and creativeness has been taken. This road easily leads to failing, by action or non-action, in the ethical duties our times impose upon us. One who knows the logic of vertigo and ecstasy does not make the mistake of thinking that duties and laws are imposed from outside; they emerge from one’s own reality which, as personal, day by day must appropriately shape its own being.

Deep understanding of the process of ecstasy and of the dissolution that is vertigo helps us discover that to decide whether an action is good or bad, virtuous or vicious, we must base ourselves not on other people’s views, but on our own reality. One who reminds us of a rule does not create it, but helps us to delve deeply into ourselves and discover the requirements of our own full development.

Once when invited to give a conference on "Human Love" by a group defending the practice of free love, I began by noting that I was not trying to remind them of rules and give moral advice. My task was simply to help them discover the inner links in the processes carrying one to fulfillment or destruction. I explained the experiences of vertigo and ecstasy, and concluded that they have to guide their own lives and constantly make choices. "The self-preservation instinct will make you choose the path of construction rather than of destruction." The support of eroticism which had been expected to follow the talk never materialized; instead one participant simply said: Now I know how to distinguish between a caress which is erotic and one which is personal; between committed and self-interested love; I now have a key to guide my daily life.

That is what is decisive: to have correct guidelines for discerning what enriches and develops from what impoverishes and sterilizes. The distinction between the dissolution of vertigo and the creative process of ecstasy is one such guideline. But fully to understand this, we must hold the human ideal up to the light, for at each moment I am heading either towards vertigo or towards ecstasy, according to the ideal I adopt in life. Everything depends on the ideal, namely, the achievement or non-achievement of my personal goal. This we shall see in the following chapter.

1. F.J. Sheed gives us a strong suggestive warning about the risk in undervaluing the seductive power of sexual potency. His book, Society and Sanity, appears to have been written in view of the way this question currently is being dealt with on television, in leaflets and in books. It is strange that, on the one hand, to indoctrinate people into throwing themselves unhesitatingly into the practice of eroticism, sexual forces are considered a trusted and pleasant resource available for use as we see fit. On the other hand, when such forms of sexual activity are shown live at the theater or in movies, totally unrelated to personal love and hence taken out of context, they are linked dramatically with various forms of violence and aggression.

1. (Madrid: Alianza Editorial, 1970), p. 123.

2. (Madrid: Alianza Editorial, 1980), pp. 126-127.

3. Cf. La sexualidad en la vida de los jóvenes (Santander: Sal Terrae, 1979), p. 99.

4. Op. cit., pp. 106-107.

5. Cf. F.J. Sheed, Society and Sanity (New York: Herder, 1963), p. 104.