THE PROBLEM

Most of the time to talk about the family is like talking into a void. Apparently we are not interested in the family. The family is like the air we breathe daily: a vital element without which we would die. But we never think about it, except when we fear it to be contaminated or when we cannot breathe properly. That is the family. It is important but we think little about it, for we never go deeply into its values. We think about the "poor family" only when something is going wrong; we need somebody to take the responsibility for all the bad things.¹

This text from the book, Familia Incompleta of the Christian Family Movement, introduces us to the strengths and weaknesses of the family. It is the oldest human group: in every place, culture or time, men and women have come together, begotten children and tried to raise them. The family also has been changing through time according to changes in the environment. It has undergone a process of institutionalization in order to protect persons, provide more security, and in a way to enable one to find oneself. But as circumstances change new needs arise and earlier institutions can prove insufficient to fully satisfy them. Families today have an identity problem. What was considered essential to the family as an institution is being systematically undermined. We find that points of reference which lent stability to the family have become useless and no longer function. Families are formed and destroyed for reasons that have nothing to do with them individually.

The old definition of the family as the "fundamental cell of society" no longer obtains. It can no longer be said that "The family is the place where the child starts to grow and obtain values, where he goes from indifferentiation to integration, from dependency to independence and free creative expression."² The abnormalities through which the family is passing mirror those of our whole society.

Some characteristics of a sub-developed society are:

- great migrations

- demographic growth

- a young population

- high rent per capita

- unfair distribution of the commodities

- bad nutrition

- high unemployment and criminality

In such an environment it is difficult to create a typical family. As the documents of Puebla say: "The family is no longer uniform; it is affected in different ways by factors which may be: social (social injustice), political (domination and manipulative), economic (salaries, unemployment) or religious (secularism)."³

One set of research interviews about the family asked three questions:⁴

1. Which aspects of the family situation appear to be the more alarming?

2. What positive aspects can be found in the family?

3. What factors or causes most affect the present family situation?

The answers were as follows:

(1) Alarming aspects of the present family situation:

- family disintegration: divorce, abortion, drugs, unfaithfulness and devaluation of women;

- irresponsibility: unwanted children, families with more than one father, single mothers, abandoned children;

- weak preparation for family life: more a biological and social impulse than an option of life; and

- lost values: irresponsibility, ignorance and materialism.

(2) Positive aspects of the family:

- some still believe in the family and its mission;

- best value among the lower class: hospitality;

- acknowledgement of one's mother: her love, fidelity and presence;

- progress: parents want to educate and advance their children;

- some religiosity: God's presence and some popular religious practices.

3. Factors that affect the actual family situation:

- moral deterioration: devaluation of work, a consumer society;

- unjust structures: unfair distribution of wealth, analphabetism, lack of opportunity;

- negative influence of the media;

- lack of personal and family intellectual growth.

From such characteristics the family will be reformed in a way that emphasizes its positive factors. The family's present condition diverges from the way it should be. As a social institution its change is necessary in order for it to last, for if it does not change it will die and disappear.

Finally, most of the changes and crises of the family are filters which eliminate unused customs and emphasize its essential aspects, namely:

1) to create free people with conscience and responsibility,

2) to transmit the faith, and

3) to promote the integral development of society.

These are but a few of the many important services of the family in society.

CHANGE IS FUNDAMENTAL IN THE FAMILY

Every day the changes experienced by the family are deeper. These transformations tell us of different ways to live family life. Some time ago the family was the center of protection, security, education, recreation and, in some cases, of work. These functions have disappeared. We can say that now the family is more an affective place for individual encounter and growth. If the family is based on love its authentic realization is more difficult to achieve, but at the same time there are more types of family lives.

In view of the change in the function of the family, we shall analyze the new characteristics of the family.

Conjugal Function: Nowadays love between husband and wife is an essential condition. It is authentic, sincere and does not have the old social pressures. The new attitudes toward sexuality have opened some doors in the relationship between the partners, especially harmony and sexual complementarity. Communication between husband and wife has increased, leaving behind the idea of marriage just to have children.

The predominance of the husband has decreased; now the woman is in charge of more areas, has greater responsibility and is more equal. Conjugal stability is the desired goal, but is difficult to achieve because:

1) the way adults were educated according to a good model for marriage, and

2) permanent engagement is thought of as slavery, taking away freedom especially as regards the sexual dimension of life.

Biological Function: Sexuality is understood as an expression of love; it helps communication, growth and the complementarity of persons as a couple. Every day the distance between sexuality and procreation grows greater; sometimes the two are totally separated. To consider sex as the only way to develop the person and a stable conjugal relationship creates a false expectation that cannot be fulfilled at the biological level alone.

Economic Function: This also has changed. The man is no longer the only one who works, while the wife takes care of the house; children used to work for the total capital of the household. Now, both husband and wife work; children also work, but use the money for their own expenses. This change is not always accepted. In some cases the husband may be absent so that the woman must manage everything by herself. When she works and earns a higher salary than her husband, this too can create conjugal conflict.

Cultural Function: The transmission of ideas and of personal and social values is best done through family. Nowadays, universities, schools, movies and television have more power to transmit a message.

Many people consider the family itself to be an obstacle to its own evolution and progress. One of the bad things about the actual family is that it no longer transmits the values and criteria which serve to preserve it.

Parent-child Relations: It is here that the greatest changes are observed. At present the idea of having children is carefully planned. It is no longer important to have descendants as an insurance against old age. Nowadays, a family of four is considered numerous in the middle and higher classes. This confirms a change in the concept and reality of responsible parenthood, which begins with procreation but lasts until the child becomes an adult.

Since Venezuela is a young country, young married couples have as their sole objective the education of their children. Once this is accomplished the couple falls into a hole of empty monotony. In reality the youngsters are not sufficiently mature when they strike out on their own.

Whereas authority used to lie with the parents, the classic father-figure now has less influence on the children, at least until their adolescence. Indeed, all members of the family share in authority. Affection or love also has become very important, overshadowing education and blind obedience.

Women: A last aspect which, though not a function, has been a factor in the exercise of all family roles is the advancement and liberation of women. The real meaning of this must be discovered, put into place and assimilated in all its richness. However, the idea of a male world has been so internalized that any change in this is considered a struggle for power; this is why we tend to see a liberated women's world as one where women rule and men obey. In truth women have acquired a sense of their dignity, more access to culture, work and politics. These have forced them to leave home and, in a way, have made them better women.

In ways not previously possible this has changed family relations, from a permanence of women at home and the matriarchal family. Because this new situation is not yet well assimilated, some women exaggerate their new roles and leave home completely, even when this means an increase in lonely children deprived of affection. This is because women have not replaced the previous contributions when they stayed at home, while, moved by a false idea of masculinity, men often do not help.

CONCLUSION

Frequently we hear both statements that the family is an anachronism and regrets that it is not what it used to be. The above is a socio-anthropological reflection on the actual situation of the family which remains the basic structure of society and church. Good examples are needed as models for the new generations.

1. Familia Incompleta (Caracas: Movimiento Familiar Cristiano, 1974), p. 7.

2. "Manual para la Formación de Agentes de Pastoral Familiar. Opto de Familia" in Un cambio a partir del niño (La Guaira, 1987), p. 9.

3. Documentos de Puebla (Bogota: Consejo Episcopal Latinoamericano, 1979), n. 572.

4. Reconstruir la Familia un reto para Venezuela (Caracas: Secretariado Permanente del Episcopado Venezolano, 1980), pp. 42, 45.

Valores Básicos da Vida e da Familia. (Sao Paulo: Conferencia Episcopal Dos Bispos do Brasil, 1980).

Francisco, Consuelo and Roberto Zarama. La Familia hoy en Amèrica Latina (Bogota: Indo-Americano Press Service, 1980).

Marciano Vidal. Valores éticos de la Familia (Madrid: PPC, 1986).

Frank Musgrove. Familia, Educación y Sociedad (Navarra: Verbo Divino, 1975).

Jean Piaget, et al. La Neuva Educación Moral (Buenos Aires: Losada s.a., 1960).